Can Christians Divorce and Remarry?
Rev Charlie (June 2024)
Sadly, nearly half of all marriages in Australia end in divorce, a statistic that no doubt includes many professing Christians. So, what does the Bible have to say about divorce and remarriage?
Firstly, it is important to say that God designed marriage, and this lifelong, monogamous union between one man and one woman is the bedrock of human society.
Genesis 2: 24
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
This ‘one flesh’ union is meant to last until the death of one or both marriage partners, hence the traditional marriage vows, ‘til death do us part.’ In a perfect world, divorce would not exist. However, we do not live in a perfect world and God understands that there are circumstances under which marriage becomes intolerable. Jesus’ teaching on divorce reveals that, whilst divorce always involves sin, the person initiating the divorce is not necessarily at fault. For example, Jesus indicated that sexual immorality on the part of a spouse is legitimate grounds for divorce, and potentially remarriage.
Matthew 19: 9
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
This does not mean that sexual sin within marriage must inevitably lead to divorce. Indeed, the possibility of repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation, should always be the first consideration when dealing with any marital problem, be it infidelity or something else. However, Jesus’ teaching does affirm that there is at least one legitimate reason for divorce. The next question is, are there others?
Jesus did not elucidate any further grounds for divorce; however, the Apostle Paul adds abandonment to the list. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul explains that a believing husband or wife should not divorce their unbelieving spouse as a matter of course. He then adds, ‘But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances.’ The fact that they are ‘not bound’ would suggest the freedom to divorce and remarry.
So, are marital unfaithfulness and abandonment the only legitimate grounds for divorce? To answer that, let us look at the reason God permits divorce at all.
The Pharisees posed Jesus the following question, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” When Jesus pointed to the sanctity and permanence of marriage they asked, “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” To this Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning […]”
We live in a world where ideal scenarios are not always possible because of human hardheartedness. All problems within marriage, indeed all sin, begins in the heart. Hardness of heart can lead to highly destructive behaviours, including violence and abuse. I would argue that such behaviours break the marriage covenant and provide legitimate grounds for divorce.
When it comes to divorce, it is not possible to give a neat formula, as some attempt to do. For example, there are those who argue that divorce and remarriage is only permissible in the case of adultery or abandonment. Clearly a more nuanced approach is needed. Applying Biblical teaching about divorce requires a great deal of wisdom and pastoral discernment. Divorce should never be encouraged as the first option, however, there are times when the marriage covenant is so badly violated that staying in the marriage is no longer a viable situation for one or both parties.
It should come as no surprise that God hates divorce (Mal. 2: 16). That is not to say that God hates divorcees, rather, he hates to see the marriage covenant broken, not least because it causes a huge degree of emotional pain and turmoil. As Christians, we should push back against a culture which says, we can get divorced for ‘any and every reason’, whilst remaining pastorally sensitive to the hurt and abuse that some people experience within marriage.
In conclusion, God gave us marriage, and if both partners are willing to submit to Christ and each other, it is beautiful, sacred and worth fighting for. Notwithstanding, there are situations whereby divorce and remarriage is permissible, though such decisions should not be taken lightly and only after pastoral intervention.
